His name is Robert Paulsen

Dear Tyler Durden,

I know I shouldn't talk about this. I know, you know, everybody knows. At least if it were true. If there was Fight Club. It's a movie with pretentious morals. It's filled with insanity, men, fighting, hatred, depression, insomnia and alot, alot of blood.

Yeah, I just watched it. Again. The first time I watched it I missed the beginning, only a few minutes, I found out later. I was alone, I was impressed. I re-watched. Watched it again later. The effect the movie has on me right now is the same it had back then. I'm there. I've lost my sense of reality for a few hours, and that depends on wether I want to stay in it or not. Right now I'm right-fucking-there. In the abandoned office. I am in the start of a new world. You met me at a very strange time in my life.

Right now I feel great, I feel like the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world. I'm a guy who's quoting way too many lines of Fight Club in one post. I'm sorry. But I do wish I had that strength, I had the power. I wish that I was without fear to make my purpose in life. To create my own goal.

Sometimes I wish I had that horrible experience, life-changing, threating, horrible. I am the worst. I can change, I have the strength, I have all I need to become the greatest or the worst, yet I do none. Yet I pretend I'm someone I am not. I pretend something, I make jokes like my life depends on it. On the other hand, I'm not sure who I am. Every time I do something bad, it's not how I want to be. Maybe it's good to be imperfect, that way I'll keep trying to become a better person.

I'd like to be a philosopher, an artist, a maker of beauty and love. Some day I'll be just that.

But I know that's a lie. I'm a liar.

Threaten me, tell me I'm gonna die. Rip me out of my life and put the gun against my head. Yell at me, ask me my name and what I want to be. Tell me that if I'm not out there in six weeks, making art, poetry and trying to present it all to the people you will find me. You know where I live.

"Too long; did not read"-versie: Ga Fight Club kijken.